As most of you know I am a worship leader, and one of my responsibilities is to organize and plan the worship of a contemporary service. Recently, we lost a pretty important band member… nothing tragic, he just moved on to take an internship out-of-state… and replacing him has been difficult. At around the same time our drummer’s other employer has been forcing him to take on Sunday hours and essentially taking him out of the mix for a couple of weeks. At this same time, we found that our pastor was diagnosed with cancer. It seemed to me that God was slowly but progressively taking our church and me into some fairly uncomfortable waters. Now, of all these things certainly the most serious of issues is the last, but all contribute to a feeling of uneasiness and uncertainty.
I have led worship in some capacity for nearly 9 years whether as a support instrumentalist or the lead guy, and it is always easier and more comforting when you have the noise of a full band, and the trusted leadership of a pastor at the helm. And in the last several weeks, it seems as though God has been allowing those security blankets to be taken away, whether actually or just in my head.
At times, I’ll admit that I have have panicked a bit internally. I have questioned the actual sanity of God. I have asked the question repeatedly, “Alright now, Lord, what the heck is going on here? Why all this now?” And then I realized that the quality of our worship before the Lord and the stability of His church does not rest on me or a band or even the pastor. The foundation of a true church does not sit upon the standard operating procedure of a worship service, or even on the well-being of a good staff.
It rests on God alone.
This is where being a good Calvinist is such a comfort to me, because I know God has absolutely everything under His control and at His command and that not only can He, but He will work all things together for the good to those that love Him and are called according to His purpose. Not only that, I know that because it is His church ultimately in cannot fail.
This Sunday, we had no drummer, no electric guitars, but we set our eyes upon the light of Jesus in a literal way. We earnestly prayed. We shouted together that “It’s gonna BE ALRIGHT!”
I’ll admit, it wasn’t comfortable for me, and that’s probably just how God wanted it.